Gray Territory
by Aiedail Liadeia
Summary: "It never mattered what I want. Today I realized that. I wished so bad, so bad, to be a hero like All Might. I wanted to accomplish something important with my life. But it never mattered. Without a quirk it was obvious. But not even that seems important now. Simply, I'm too weak." Villain Deku AU. Bakugo x Izuku. Warning: Mentions of suicide, cursing, mild violence.
1. Mom is not going to like it

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 1: Mom is not going to like it

Is nighttime. Actually I don't know what time it is, but is dark and a little bit cold. I walk among trees, aimlessly. I think I'm lost, I stopped knowing where I was and where I was going a while ago. But I don't care. I think I should be scared, but I don't have the strength to be afraid. Mom should be worried, but my house is the last place I want to be now. I don't want to see her sad face, I don't want her pity. I don't want her to see me defeated. So I keep walking. My body moves by inertia, truth is I don't know what pushes me to keep going, but I guess is better than stay still. So I keep walking, without seeing, without hearing. My head spins. Too many memories, too many sensations. I can't deal with everything. I would like to cry, but it doesn't seem enough. I would like to shout, but I don't find my voice. Is not worthy. Nothing is worthy.

It never mattered what I want. Today I realized that. I wished so bad, so bad, to be a hero like All Might. I wanted to accomplish something important with my life. But it never mattered. Without a quirk it was obvious. But not even that seems important now. Simply, I'm too weak. I've never been able to defend myself, I've never been able to answer Kacchan's insults. Today I couldn't even protect him from that attack. I humiliated myself in front of him, in front of All Might, in front of everyone. And I wanted to be like All Might? Impossible. Kacchan knew it before I did. I'm a fool, and I have been my whole life.

"...And maybe you will born with a quirk your next life". Maybe Kacchan is right. There is no point, I'm tired, I can't anymore. I don't want to go on. I don't want to go back home to face mom. I don't want to go to school to face Kacchan. Mom is not going to like it, but now that I can't be a hero, I don't have to be one, nor for her, nor for anyone. If I want to, I can give up, quit, forget them all and be selfish. Yes, that sounds good. More than good. Come on. Quick. There must be a place somewhere. Here. No, there. If I go down road I will surely find the river. The river in which we used to play when children.

I seep up, my chest drums. I stumble several times, I see close to nothing in this darkness, but I don't stop. I have a purpose, even if its a miserable one. Then, I start hearing it. The water. I'm close. Just I little more. Yes, here it is. Now I just have to follow the river. I remember there was a bridge over there. Is not a roof, but it will do. I walk a good stretch. Just a little more. I can see the bridge. The rebuilt it. Now it has a railing to make it safer. Whatever. I get closer. I walk it half way and I climb the railing. I stand in the border, holding myself with my hads. I look down. Is not too high, but there's a good water torrent. I have a good chance of making it.

—Are you going to jump? —says a voice at my back. I startle and look behind. This is the last place I expected to find someone. He looks older than me. He is wearing a black sweater, with the hood raised. Half of his face is hidden behind clear locks. The other half looks haggard, but this person can't be older than twenty—. Today there's a lot of water running. If you jump now surely you'll die.

—Are you going to tell me not to jump?

—Do as you wish, is your decision. I'm just curious, how bad is your life for you to want to commit suicide? —he asks. His answer puzzles me, but it also puts me at ease. If he is not going to stop me, I don't lose anything answering his question.

—I wanted to be a hero like All Might, but I have no quirk, so its impossible. He told me so. —The guy stays impassive. After some seconds, he bursts into laughter.

—You're not messing with me, right? —When he sees my reaction, or lack thereof, he calms a little—. Poor creature, even the great All Might has forsaken you and now you have no purpose to live. How funny. What would you do if a told you I went through the same?

—What?

—Don't misunderstand, I do have a quirk. But lets say that even in this hero society there's left over trash. Trash not even All Might cares about. I'm one of them, and it seems you're like me. Don't feel bad, there are many like us, usually they know us as villains. —That last word makes me react. I'm scared. I lose the grip of my hands and I know I'm going to fall. I close my eyes. Here I end.

But instead of falling, I'm hanging. I'm hanging? I open my eyes and I see the guy holding onto my arm with both hands. Then, a scorching feeling starts to burn my arm, just where the guy is holding me. It becomes a scorching pain. A pain that corrodes me. I shout. I almost don't realize I'm being pulled until I fall on solid ground. I look at my arm. Where the guy's hands were, now I have no skin.

—Sorry. That's my quirk, basically I destroy everything I touch —the guy comments casually. The pain is horrible. But I'm still alive—. Listen, I understand if you want to end everything here, but if you want to do something more with your miserable life, come with me. I'm the head of a group of idiots called League of villains. We're not kind, but all of us have been rejected by the system. No one there will judge you for not having a quirk. Who knows? Maybe you will discover you have talent for this.

No. Of course not. How could I? It goes against everything I have always believed in. A couple of hours ago my biggest ambition was to be a hero, and now I'm being recruited by a villain? Of course not. But… What if…? No, bad idea. But if I could…? It can't be that bad of an idea. Maybe if… But mom is not going to like it. But that doesn't matter anymore. I could… Why not? I would have to quit to… But I wasn't going to come back anyway. Right, I'm not going back… The other option I have is the river. But if I could… wouldn't it be worth it? I don't have to be a hero, I can give up, forget them all. Yes, I like how that sounds. Now I can be someone else, someone different. Yes, I like that…

—Deal—I say with gritted teeth. A grimace appears in the guy's face, and I think is a smile.

* * *

The idiot Deku had stopped coming to class. And I couldn't care less. Surely he'd been too scared after the slime villain that he didn't dare to go out of his house. Maybe he finally had realized that he couldn't be a hero with how useless he was, least one like All might. Good! I've hoped I could see his face when he came back. But the days went by, Deku was still not coming back. And there were rumors. That because of the scare he would've lost his mind or something. Bullshit.

I knew Deku had disappeared when the police came to my home to ask if we knew something. They interrogated me, I told them the last time I saw him, the idiot was going back home. There were no more questions. Then, the "wanted" signs appeared in the neighbor walls. At school they stopped asking for his name at the attendance. No adult mentioned something about his disappearance. After some time, the empty chair seemed to bother no one. After some more time there wasn't rumors left.

Two months went by. Suddenly, I was graduating from school. I had no mind for anything that wasn't the admission test of U.A. As expected, I got the best results in the practical test. The night my acceptance letter arrived, the announcement came out in television. The had stopped looking for Deku.

—You know what this means, Katsuki? —my mother said—. It means they decided he wasn't important. They're not going to tell it on television, but probably they left him for death. His mother must be heartbroken.

I didn't react at that moment. I didn't process my mother's words. I didn't understand them, they had no meaning to me.

Today is the funeral. Is a symbolic ceremony, there's nothing to bury. But there's a gravestone with Deku's name. His mother cries in silence. My mother stays by her side. My father says nothing. Nobody else came. And there's a gravestone with Deku's name.

I suddenly realize that I won't see his pathetic crying face ever again. That nobody will ever call me Kacchan again. That he won't bother me when he thinks I need help ever again. Suddenly, I realize he won't be there. Ever again.

And I don't like it.


	2. Demons

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 2: Demons

—Still nothing? —I ask, maybe for the tenth time.

—No, Bakugo, we haven't received any emergency.

I snort. I have nothing to do but I can't stay still. I pace from one side to the other of the office. I should be out there, doing something, anything. I can't even go out on patrol. These people like to take turns so the work is equitable. Bullshit. Instead of doing something useful I'm stuck here, waiting for something to happen.

I prepared for five years for this, five fucking years. On first year I got kidnapped by a gang of villains led by a guy with the strangest quirk I ever saw, and I survived thanks to All Might. Because of me, he had to defeat this guy and retire right after. Nobody ever suspected how doomed that man was, later on he himself confessed that to me. Afterwards came Mirio Togata, the great Lemillion, claiming he would be the one to take the place of the Symbol of Peace. Bullshit.

I spent the next years kicking every ass in the way, putting more effort than any of those extras, my goal clearer than ever. I will be the best fucking hero that steps on this fucking land. Better than that Mirio jerk. Better than All Might. I owe it to him, after all.

I graduated from U.A. as the best in my class and I got my licence. Today is my debut as a pro hero. And now I can't even go on patrol!? Not even a miserable patrol!? Its is eleven o clock, for fuck's sake! My turn ends by twelve! And no shit has happened in this shitty city. If nothing happens in the next fifteen minutes, I swear I'll go out there and—

—Attention! There's an explosion to the west of the agency… —they say in the loudspeaker. Fuck yeah! An explosion in the city! In two seconds I have my gauntlets on and I'm ready to go. I almost have a foot outside when—

—Attention! There are more fire spots, the explosions are happening one after other. It is believed there could be an organized attack… —Organized attack?

—Divide by zones! Quick! —I turn around and enter the office.

—Bakugo!

—Go ahead! —I bark. I run to the vigilance room. There they have pictures on several screens of what's happening, all individual pictures of the fires.

—Ground Zero? —says one of the vigilantes of the room.

—I need to look for something. —I sit in front of one of the computers. If its an organized attack, there must be a pattern. I get to visualize a general image.

I can see it, definitely is not casual. The bastard who caused the explosions drew a circle around the agency. So this is a provocation directed at us.

My phone vibrates in my pants. I take it out in a reflex move. But then I realize it is not the work phone. Is my personal phone, the one I had turned off myself hours ago. A message from an unknown number. Coincidence? I don't think so. I open the message. There are numbers. No, these cant be simply numbers, this are coordinates. I quickly type at the searching system. Don't fuck with me. The place is near, outside the ring of fires though, and there's no incident in that particular zone. What is this shit?

I realize the rest of the heroes have gone to the different fires already, so I'm alone, I can't ask for backup. Is could be a trap, it would be stupid go without a plan. But I can't ignore the call. Whoever is sending this, is calling me personally. And there are enough reasons to think the message and the explosions are linked. I have no option, I must go.

I exit the agency and go to the place. I run and impulse myself with controlled detonations. Little by little I'm getting closer. When I arrive I notice is true, nothing has happened here. No explosion, no fire. The exact place the coordinates indicate is a tall building. A residential building. Crap. My phone vibrates again. Another message from the same unknown number. "At the rooftop". Crap! They know I'm here. I look at the building. Should a warn the inhabitants and evacuate? Or that is what they want me to do? If I evacuate the building, there will be chaos at the street, where the civilian will be easy targets. No. I must be careful and find out more. But before, I send my location to my colleagues, in case this would go out of my hands.

I invoke an explosion from my hands, I shoot in the air. I hope the civilians don't notice much. I land at the rooftop, role on the floor and stand again, ready to attack.

I look around. The place is dark, and it gives the impression there's no one. But I'm being watched, without a doubt. Someone is there, judging my every move, every step that I make. If only they would stop this shitty game and—

I turn and throw an explosion towards who creeps from behind. But my detonation is blocked by someone I can't see. I hear a hiss, the smoke doesn't allow me to see. When it dissipates, there's no one in sight.

I stay on guard. A second passes. Then another.

A new attack comes from the side. I respond again with a new explosion, again it is consumed before reaching its target. I hear the hissing, the smoke appears. No, is not smoke. It seems like steam. The attacker must have a liquid related quirk.

As soon as my view clears, there's nobody. I getting sick with this.

—I you're going to attack, do it at once! —Silence. But I know they're going to atack again.

I hear running steps towards me. I move before they intercept me. But then, blast after blast is thrown at my direction. I reject them all, but the more I shoot, the less I see. The damned steam. I try taking the offensive hand, but the bastards is ahead of me, predicting my movements and blocking me before I can really attack. I can make big explosions either, we're fighting over an inhabited building. I don't like this shit. Okay, change of strategy. I hope the bastard is just using water.

At the next blast of liquid, I let it soak me. With my raised hand, I shoot upwards. Everything around me is illuminated. I get to see a silhouette. I jump against it, I'm going to send it to fly. My hands clash with another pair of hands, I'm facing my opponent. The moment I activate my explosion, liquid flows and suffocates it. We debate into a strength test, my quirk against theirs. Little by little I gain terrain, my opponent starts to give in. Until they fall on their knees. They're mine. A throw a kick in their direction, I heart them fall to the floor, how they pant. In a moment, the steam dissolves. Before me is a brat, no more than a teenager, wearing goggles that surely are of night vision.

—Fucking brat. —I get closer, I'm going to take the shit out of—

—Enough! —says a voice from the shadows. I stay on guard. The brat stands and moves to the side.

Then, he appears. A guy of middle height, slender, dressed in formal clothing. And an All Might mask covering his face. I clench my fists, my blood boils.

—Is it you who caused the explosions? —I ask through gritted teeth.

—Yes —he responds mockingly.

—Bastard… —I start to advance. Either if its true or not, I know this guy is dangerous.

—Wait, wait —he says, and he shows me he has some sort of remote control on his hand—. I guess you noticed, but we are on top of an inhabited building, in the middle of a residential neighbor. If you try to attack us, I promise I'm going to blow this place. —I can hear the smile on his voice.

I clench my teeth. This bastard has me cornered and he knows it. He has managed to bring me here, alone, and with a single move he has taken all the inhabitants of the building hostage without their knowledge. What does he wants to get? It is just a terrorist act or there is something more? Why he has called me among all heroes? Who is this guy?

—At least show your face, mothefucker!

—Hmm, alright. —Really? That easy? The guy slides the mask out of his head, he lets it fall to the floor and looks at me—. Hello, Kacchan. How are you doing? —he says, with a smile on his mouth. I stay silent—. What? Don't tell me you don't remember me. —Then he lets out a loud laughter—. It must be you thought me dead! —He keeps laughing. I'm incapable of answering—. Not saying anything? How strange, you're not the one to keep silent. Well, it doesn't matter. I just came to say hi, see how you where… I'm fine, by the way. I haven't jumped from a rooftop or anything.

—Deku…

—Yes, now everybody calls me Deku. This is who I am now, do you like it? It was hard to get here, but you can't get anything without —

A light beam falls on us. I'm blinded for a moment. Is our vigilance helicopter. They responded to the coordinates I sent.

—Your backup will be here soon. It was good to see you. Later! —I barely see when he throws the remote control. Just then, I react. Y drop to the floor, it falls right on my hands. When I raise my sight, he is not there. Nor him, nor the brat. I stand and run to the border of the rooftop. I look down, looking everywhere, almost expecting to see him stamped on the pavement. But there's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing.

* * *

I'm in front of his house. In front of the door that has his name. Even when living close, I can't remember the last time I was here. Now is under vigilance. After the last events, they had to leave police men. The police on duty gave permission to pass. And here I am, just a ring away from steping again in that apartment. But I doubt. I say to myself that is because a don't want to bother the poor woman, that she has been through a lot. But I have my reasons to do this. There's no way I can elude it.

I ring the bell. Not much time passes. Inko Midoriya opens the door. First she peeks shyly, but when she recognices me, her face changes.

—Bakugo, I knew you were coming. Please come in —she says, and opens the door. She waited for me?

—Excuse me. —I enter. Even though years have passed since I've been in this place, I have the filling things haven't changed much in here. As if time haven't went by. I feel a knot in my throat. I swallow to take away the feeling.

—Take a sit. Do you want some tea? —I don't get to say no when the woman had already left a glass in front of me. I thank her and give a sip out of courtesy. She sits in front of me. There's a heavy silence, just to delay the approaching conversation. What the fuck.

—I know things are hard for you, and I'm sorry that I have to make these questions to you again. But I have doubts and I need to know.

—Can't you check the police registers? —she asks, diverting her gaze.

—I did, already. But at that moment the investigation got nothing. Ir is clear they had to dig more —Ella keeps silent for a moment, but then she sighs and nods.

—I'm not going to tell you I alright, but I will answer all I can —Good, is a good start.

—How was… Izuku the last day you saw him? —I ask. She takes a moment before answering, as if it's painful to hear the name.

—Is embarrassing to say it, but he looked like always. He got up early, ate his breackfast normally and went to school. I knew he appeared on television with the attack of that villain. You were there. —I nod—. I spoke with him on the phone. He told he was fine. He told me to stay calm, that he was going to arrive a little later. I thought he would be exited to have seen All Might. But he never came back. When he disappeared, I thought some villain could have done something to him, but I never knew anything. The police didn't investigate enough. —She is silent then, I see she's making an effort not to cry—. I never thought my Izuku would end like… —She doesn't finish the phrase, the tears defeat her. I wait until she calms a little.

—Do you know if he had motives to convert?

—I can´t explain why he would do that. He wanted so bad to be a hero, but his condition didn't allow it. She stays silent another moment, still drying her tears—. He never told me anything, and maybe it was my failure as a mother not see it on time, but I think Izuku was very frustrated and he never knew what to do with it. —Another silence—. You know? He really appreciated you, I think he wanted to be like you. I know you two got distanced, but he never stopped admiring you. He would come home and tell me you were the best in sports, or how you took down some bullies. Perhaps that's why he made that attack, to get your attention. I wish he wouldn't have done the way he did.

—There were no dead —I say then. She looks confused.

—But...

—The news made it a big deal, but there was just wounded and structural damages. He didn't kill anyone. —The woman's eyes fill with tears again, and she weakly smiles. She seems relieved, as if I didn't just tell her Deku is a villain who belongs to a criminal organization.

—Maybe is wrong to ask but… How is he? —she asks, pleading me with her eyes. What should I say? That Deku has turned into a sociopath? That he planted bombs in the city to cause terror? That he already has an arrest order? She insists—. Is he… fine? —Then I realize it. Before anything else, this woman is Deku's mother, and Deku, sociopath or not, is still her son. I think carefully before responding.

—He seemed in good conditions, he didn't look wounded or sick.

—Do you know where he went?

—No, they're looking for him now. After the attack he left without leaving a clue.

—If they catch him, what will happen to him?

—He will be judged and condemned. —The woman lowers her sight, thinking. Now I understand the police standing outside is not just to protect her, but to stop her from trying something.

—I tell you, Bakugo, Izuku may have chose a bad road, but he is nor a criminal. Maybe he just needs to be saved from his own demons —she says, looking at me with eyes full of convition, eyes that look so much like his. I swallow heavily, my throat tightens again. She finishes fixing her face. Then, another weak smile appears there—. Do you want to see his room? It's just like he left it.

I can't. I can't do this. I can't hold on.

—Excuse me.

I stand, bow shortly and pounce against the door without giving an explanation. I give no explanation to the police either. I start running, away from the building. I run with all my strength. The streets from my childhood go pass me. But I don't want to think. I don't want to remember. So I run nonstop. Little by little I'm leaving behind the suburb. I'm getting close to the woods, the one in which we used to play when children.

I keep running. I run with all my strength. The trees from my childhood go pass me. I don0t want to think. I don't want to remember. I keep running. My legs move on their own. I don't know how long I've been running, but I don't feel the tiredness. Then I see the river over there. I run faster. I stop just where the road is over and the gully starts. I pant. My throat gets tighter. I feel like suffocating. I take a great mouthful of air and scream.

I scream. I scream as loud as I can. But the feeling doesn't go.

Then everything comes back to me. The gravestone that has his name, the punches, the insults. I know it since five years ago. It was me. It wasn't a coincidence that he made me go to a rooftop, or that he appeared at my debut. He is playing with me, he is playing with my head, and he is enjoying it. I had learned to live with no one calling me Kacchan. I even learned to live ignoring this fucking guilt that was always there. And now the brat that gave me his hand to help me, has return from death turned into a fucking villain who plants bombs. Or at least he makes me believe he puts them. He said the explosions were his, he threatened me to blow that building with the people inside, but when they searched for explosives, there were none. The stupid idiot just made think there were. The pattern of the explosions, the messages, he manipulated me the whole time, just because he wanted to confront me personally. But he didn't kill anyone. The bombs were strategic. He wanted to cause damage on the place, he wanted to cause fear, but it seems he didn't want to kill. Why? Does he have a plan? Is he thinking to kill in the future? Does he just wants to get a revenge? Or he needs to be saved from his own demons?

But, if I'm one of those demons?


	3. Bad road

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 3: Bad road

Is nighttime. It has been nighttime from a good deal of time and I'm impossibly awake. There's no way to keep the eyes shut. If is not insomnia, it is the nightmares. I'm dreaming again with that bastard. I've stopped seeing him in dreams, but now I see him every night with that shitty smirk and that fake eye. He mocks me, he is always mocking me. The son of a bitch.

Is worse when Deko appears too; when instead of the bastard, Deku's the one laughing in my face. Is worse, because I know he does have reasons to do it.

Five days have passed since he returned, I have counted them one by one. He hasn't been seen since then, but the investigation is already on its course.

I can't say I know him. I've thought him dead for five years. But I know this is not done yet. I have no proofs, but neither doubts. He is not stupid. He is just preparing the scenery for what's coming next. What madness is he going to do? Which will be his next move? Will I be able to react om time? Will I be a match to—?

I check on the phone. It is four in the morning. My fucking alarm will ring in two more hours. What the fuck. I kick the sheets out. I put on sportive clothing, the running sneakers and in ten minutes I'm on the street. I flex my muscles and I start running. The cold air hits my face and fills my lungs.

I know things are fucked up. Fucked up as shit. I have to do something. Fucking shit! If I'm guilty of all this, is my duty to take the blow. If he admired me, then he listened carefully every word I said. And if it was me who destroyed him, it's only fair that I take responsibility. I don't want to risk everything I've got, but if I don't, I will be no better that the bastard that abandoned his people. Is my duty to take responsibility, even if the cost is my reputation. It doesn't matter, I will rise from the bottom if I have to. I will put more affort than the rest, I've always done it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I doesn't matter.

I run. I'm not thinking anymore about it. I made a decision. I will speak with All Might. I will speak with the police. With Inko. With whoever wants to hear me. And let them do whatever they want with me. It doesn't matter. I will rise from the bottom if I have to. I can do it. I can do everything. I run. Run. Run.

I run until sky starts to lighten. I watch the phone. Shit, it will be time.

I come back to the apartment. I shower, I dress, I swallow a heavy coffee and I depart. Today I'm going to U.A, to see All Might. He said he needed to speak with me. Good, me too.

When I get there is still early. There's still an hour before classes start. But they know me here. They let me go directly to the meeting room. I take a sit and wait.

Until the door opens.

—Young Bakugo, I hope I didn't make you wait —he says, closing the door behind him.

—I came early, no problem. —He sits in front of me. I still have a hard time assimilating him in his shrunken aspect.

—If is fine with you, I will go straight to the point. —He knows me already—. I asked you to come here because I believe is the moment to let you know the cause of whats happening. —Hah?—. I met young Midoriya the day he disappeared.

Silence.

—Do you still remember that day?

Of course I do. All those memories came back five days ago. Rather, they never left, they were just buried.

—The villain who attacked you that day, attacked him first. Fortunately, I was there to save him. But when I tried to leave, he followed me. He saw me in this form, and then I had to tell him about my wound.

»But that didn't deter him. He said he wanted to be a hero like me, and he asked if he could be one even without a quirk. —He keeps quiet for a moment—. I said no. I told him he had to be realistic and told him to be a cop.

»Because of my distraction, I let the villain espace. Then he found you. I went there as fast as I could, but I was at my limit. I didn't know young Midoriya went there too until he ran to save you.

»I don't know what happened in his head but, even when we didn't do anything, he ran to save you without a doubt. Watching him in that heroic act inspired me to act too. But when everything ended, I didn't have a chance to talk to him. And then when I had it, I didn't.

He stays silent for a moment, as if preparing to throw a bomb.

—I thought about giving my quirk to young Midoriya.

—What!?

—He was impotent, the one who had the less chance, but he had the spirit of a hero.

—Why didn't you gave it to him? —Is the only I manage to say.

—I ask myself that to this day. Maybe because I saw something in young Midoriya that made me uneasy. Maybe because I was a coward. But I'm convinced that with good guidance, he would have come far. —He becomes silent again—. You see, young Bakugo, is because of a mistake I made that this is happening —he says and he stands, ready to make a deep bow.

Before All Might says his apologies, I stand.

—No! I can't accept it.

—Young Bakugo? —he asks.

I fall again in the couch. I look at the floor.

—I know Deku since we where children. —All Might sits again. He doesn't say anything, he lets me continue—. We were friends, we lived in the same neighbor. But when it was known he had no quirk I… —Come on, you bastard. Say it. —I treated Deku like shit, for years. I let on my own frustrations on him and I treated him like shit —I spit the words with fury—. The day he disappeared, I knew he wanted to come to U.A. I couldn't stand the anger and I told him to jump from the roof. Just then he disappeared, and little time after, they left him for death. So don't apologize, because I'm as guilty as you.

He keeps quiet for another moment. I don't dare to rise my eyes.

—Then, that attack wasn't casual.

—No, it was directed at me. He wanted to get my attention. Everything was calculated, he knew exactly how to manipulate me. It means he had been watching me for a good time. He knew when I debuted and he knows how I fight. He could predict my reactions and he had me right where he wanted. He even thought about the escape. He planned everything.

—Do you think he is part of an organization?

—Definitely. He had a brat with a water quirk. He could get the bombs, install them and detonate them precisely. And the escape, someone took them out of there. He is organized. —All Might gathers his hands and lowers his gaze with a frown. Something is worrying him—. Do you think he is working with the League?

—That wouldn't be the biggest problem —he says—. Not even All For One could live forever. At that time I had no certainty, but after five years of investigation, I know he was preparing an heir. It can be Shigaraki. —Or it can be Deku. Crap.

—If the heir rises, will you fight him?

—When All for One fell, I retired because I knew that if there was an heir, I had to be prepared. The new bearer will be inexpert, he won't have the same strength as his ancestor and I will be the one facing him. I need to put an end to this war that had lasted eight generations already and that had taken more lives that can be counted.

—Why haven't you given your quirk to anyone?

—I told you, young Bakugo. One for All and All for One represent a big sacrifice. This amount of power is a heavy burden, and with time, it corrupts the bearer. That's why I hope our suspicions are not true. I don't wish that destiny to anyone, least to young Midoriya.

—His mother is convinced he es not bad, that he just picked a bad road. —Maybe there's hope.

—And if that's true, we must do everything we can to save him from that bad road.

—Who is in charge of the investigation?

—Detective Tsukauchi.

—Then I will testify with him. I will tell him everything I know.

* * *

—Are you sure you don't want it?

—Yes, Kota. I ate enough, I'm not hungry anymore —I respond, without taking my view out of the maps. And even if it's only a half truth, it is fine that he keeps half my ration. Kota is in the middle of a growth spurt, he needs the extra energy to develop his quirk and to do the physical work I can't do. While I just need enough calories to think.

The city extends in front of me in the shape of paper, old and trustworthy paper that cannot be tracked. Not that is easy to be found in this miserable factory in ruins, but is always better to prevent. So nothing impedes the plan from following its course.

And so far the plan is going wonderfully. I have everyone cracking their brains looking for me, trying to discover who am I while panic extends like fire with gunpowder. How fun. How ironic.

—What are you laughing about? —Kota asks.

—Nothing important —I answer, regaining my composure—. What is today's report?

—They said in the news he isn't working. They moved him form his work for awhile, because they say he's helping with the investigation. Since then he almost doesn't go out —he says, and takes another mouthful of food—. That guy is mad. Who goes out to run at four in the morning?

—Someone who can't sleep.

—You really don't want me to fight him again? I know I lost the first time, but if I try again—

—It won't be necessary, you're already helping enough. Besides, the point wasn't to defeat him, just to take him down a peg.

—But that guy is a bastard, we have to make him eat shit.

—Kota, don't speak like that.

—Sorry.

—Besides, we need that bastard for this to work.

—Do you think it will work? —he asks.

—It has to —I say, and pull out a large paper over the others. A map of our hideout—. Now we are going to wait some time. With some sparks we will create a little chaos. The best comes after, but you already know that.

—I still don't like that part. Is dangerous.

—Don't worry. At that point I will have an escape route.

—I hope you're not planning to escape —says a voice. Shigaraki. He appears at the room, with his hands on his pockets and a somber expression in his haggard face—. The new cargo is here —he says.

—Good. Hey Kota, why don't you go help with that? —I say. Kota looks at me for a moment, with suspicion. I make a little gesture to reassure him. Then he stands and leaves the room.

—Hey, how are going the preparations? When is going to be ready? ¿Did you decide—?

—I decided the next attacks, and with the new resources we can make them happen soon. It's going to work —I say, sounding as kind as I can. He grabs me from the neck of the shirt and gets in a threatening proximity. Luckily, he has the hand half bandaged.

—You are the one who promised this would work. You better do, we have waited enough —he spits in a low voice and a grimace in his mouth. I look at him, taking care of not changing my expression, and I just nod in silence—. Good.

He lets go of me and leaves as he came.

Alone in the dark room, I let out a sight and let myself fall against the table. I'm used to this, but sometimes is tiring. I never let down my guard when it's about Shigaraki. He is the one who got me in this, he is the one who offered me a place in the word when I had decided to quiet to everything. But this guy is too much for me.

I shouldn't know it but, in its due moment, I wanted to know who was this person I owed my life to. There were archived records about him, detailed registers, as if of an experiment under constant supervision. I was several years old, about a decade, and it was surely forgotten, replaced by modern means. But there it was.

I discovered who he was, what had he done, what was the real potential of his quirk. I discovered why he had those hands around his body and why he had the mental stability of a child. I also discovered he doesn't remember anything, that he has some sort of amnesia that blocked the strength of his quirk. But it's a matter of time.

It's obvious. All for one knew his time had come. Even he had a limit and he had surpassed it time ago, because if there's something I know about quirks, is that what is given must be paid. And All for one had to pay a very high price for all his power. That's why he prepared Shigaraki to be his successor and to give him his quirk before dying. That's way he fed his mind with hatred and bitterness, so even if his quirk was incomplete, even if he had no idea how to use All for one, it would be just a matter of time. Fortunately, the master kept the stolen quirks and only gave him the ability to steal others. But things can and will get ugly anytime soon.

A guy capricious as a kid and irritable as a teenager, who claims to hate the whole world and what exists in it, with the ability of great scale disintegration and with one of the most powerful quirks that exist...

That's why I must be a step ahead. Even if at the end there's nothing left for me.


	4. Come see me

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 4: Come see me

—Everything is ready —says Kota from the device in my ear.

—Did you put them all?

—Yes, the smoke and the noise ones —he responds.

—Good.

—You put the others, right?

—Yes, they are ready —I answer.

—Why you never let me put those?

—We talked about this already, Kota. Are you in the safe perimeter?

—I just got here.

—Good. Activate them when I tell you and then mix with the people. You know what to do after.

—Yes, I know —he responds. A moment goes by and then he speaks again—. Be careful.

—You too. —And the communication ends.

I take a deep breath. It's time.

I go out the bathroom cubicle and watch myself at the mirror. I fix some details here and there. Today I'm dressed to kill. I wear a white shirt, tight pants, a little corset, boots with heels and my faithful eyeliner. Kota would say it is too much, but I have the right to have a little ego, no? You don't put bombs at the mall everyday.

By my side, a guy watches me strangely while he washes his hands. Y watch him back.

—What? —I ask. The guy says nothing and quickly turns into smoke.

Where was I? Oh, right. I check my pockets, I have everything. Good. I go out of the bathroom and walk along with a fixed destination. Mi next stop is the reception.

—Good afternoon, what can I do for you? —says the receptionist, with a forced smile. I take out the gun from my pants, and point it at her head.

—Would you be so kind as to let me use the mic? I have a message to say on the speakers. —The smile vanishes in an instant, and she looks at me with a fish face. Though it looks very realistic, what I have is a harmless toy. But she doesn't know it—. Please, I don't have too much time —I say. She nods nervously, and reaches me a wireless mic—. Is it on? —She nods again. I clear my throat.

»Ladies, gentlemen and everything in between, Deku is talking. Yes, the same you have seen on television. No, this is not a joke. I strongly recommend to all passerby going through the north wing of the mall, to please abandon the place. I repeat, all the passerby on the north wing of the mall, please abandon the place. I intend to blow up the All Might store in the next thirty minutes. I repeat. I will blow up the All Might store, and if you don't want to blow up too, I suggest you remove your humanity during the next thirty minutes. Thank you for your attention and have a good afternoon.

Immediately, people alters. Good, now I just have to wait for the heroes to arrive.

—Thank you, I think I will keep this for a while —I say, taking with me the mic at the astonished gaze of the receptionist.

While I walk, I take the phone from my pocket to check the hour. I'm perfect. Everything is settled. According to plan. But something is missing. Someone is missing. The poor guy must be still chastised and under vigilance. But truth is none of this will work if he's not here. If it's not him who listens to me.

* * *

Since Deku appeared, there have been many bomb warnings in different parts of the city, but he hasn't been seen again. Packages with bombs have been arriving by mail to the police and various hero agencies, some fake and some real. The sender is always a false identity. They say it is a technique, to test reaction times and the impact it can have on public safety. But usually, those are detonations that only cause material damage.

They can't intercept them, because they don't have how to control every package that is sent by mail. They can't track the sender, because is always a fake one. They believe it can be Deku —no, they're definitely Deku's—, but that doesn't take them anywhere either. They never know which will be the next target. They don't know what's the motive. They don't know where is he hiding. They don't know if he is part of an organization. They don't even know if he really has no quirk. So they are investigating him with everything they have.

I testified again with the police. And this tame I told them everything. What I said to him, what I did to him. That I believed him dead. That probably his motive is to get revenge on me. That maybe I'm the responsible for this crisis. I was penalized for inappropriate behavior, I was temporarily detached from my duties. And all this was registered in my history. My phone was intervened, partly in case I received strange messages again, partly to keep me in check.

I have barely debuted, and I already have a stain on my reputation. This is bullshit. But I understand that it's shit that is just coming back.

I can only stay at home, exercising, seeing how out there there's an atmosphere of uncertainty. There are questions on television and internet that were not asked a month ago. Are we really safe? Can heroes really protect people? Are the heroes as good as they claim to be?

I'm not. Otherwise, I wouldn't be in this situation.

Why did I do what I did for so many years? Where did my hatred towards Deku come from? I never asked myself any of this, and now it seems so important.

Deku was the opposite of what I wanted to be. He was someone who had to be taken care of, not someone who could take care of others. Even so, his ambitions went beyond what was possible. And they compared to mine. No. Only I could reach that top. It was my duty. It is my duty. So I don't end up like the bastard. The one who laughs at me in dreams.

My phone rings. It must be the old hag, surely to rub in my face how pathetic I am. No. It is an unknown number.

"Come see me".

Shit.

I turn on the television, right on the news. "Attack at the mall" in large letters, while they film the police contingent that has come to fence the place. I change the channel. "Lemillion at the scene of the attack," while focusing on the great jerk talking to a group of policemen. I change the channel. "Deku makes apparition", while they show an aerial view of one of the stores, precicely the All Might shop. "It is reported that Deku has threatened to blow up the store. Other heroes have tried to talk to him, but the negotiations are at a standstill. They don't dare to engage him, because after the last few weeks, they don't know what he can do."

In theory, I shouldn't go. I'm under penalty. Out of service. There are others taking care of this. And I shouldn't disobey the restriction…

But this is new. To appear in one of his own attacks, at plain sight, in a crowded place and of easy access? He's not trying to hide, it looks like he wants all the attention possible. And if that hadn't been enough, he made sure to call me personally, like the first time. It seems to be an inconvenient move, he is exposing himself to being captured. But Deku is not stupid, so I can only think that behind this there is a bigger strategy…

Fuck everything. I they have my phone intervened, they should know already at the agency.

In seconds I have put on the boots, the gauntlets, the belt with grenades. In minutes I'm at the street, the helmet on and riding the motorcycle. I drive at full speed, calculating the shortest route.

When I arrive at the place, there's already a perimeter surrounding the mall. The heroes are busy evacuating the people first. I leave the motorcycle at the side. When I cross a police, they warn me I can't get closer. I stamp my license on their face and go pass them.

—Hey, dyed pompadour! —I call when I see the Mirio jerk. People around him look at me suspiciously when they recognize me.

—Greetings, Bakugo.

—I need a report.

—I thought you were out of service.

—Me too, but the guy you have here doesn't think the same.

—What do you mean? —I throw the phone in his hands so he can look at the blessed message.

—Let me speak with him.

—Are you sure you can do this?

—You've not been able to negotiate, have you?

A loud detonation is heard.

—Get down!

Mirio throws me against the pavement. What the fuck! Cover your own ass fucking pompadour! I throw him aside and I stand quickly to evaluate what have just happened. Dense smoke prevents me from seeing, but I notice there's no heat coming from the explosion, as if there was no combustion at all. Those are not real bombs, he just wants to scare us. Then, when the smoke dissipates, I can see a silhouette standing on the roof of the All Might store.

It must be Deku. He was just waiting for the right moment to make a dramatic apparition. Well done, now he has all the attention he wants.

—You can follow me if you want —I bark at Mirio. Without waiting for an answer, I leave in the direction of the All Might store.

I get closer until I can clearly distinguish it's him. He looks at me from the highs. I know he is looking at me. Even if he is surrounded, he stands before me as if he owns the place. What a brave idiot. And what the hell is he wearing?

—Ground Zero, good thing you came —says Deku, and his voice resonates from all the mall speakers. I put myself on guard. This time he hasn't called me by the nickname.

Before I can answer, Mirio materializes from the ground, with a megaphone in his hand.

—You are surrounded. Your attack was frustrated. Surrender. If you give yourself without resistance we can negotiate that you have a good treatment —says Mirio.

—¿Lemillion, right? So you are the one who pretends to replace All Might. Darling, you are not even fit to tie his shoelaces. —Ha! —. Besides, why do you assume my so called attack has failed?

—We evacuated all the people.

—So what? I warned people to escape, is not in my interest to hurt them.

—Give yourself. You have no other choice.

—Give myself? To you? No thanks, you are not my type. —Did Deku just make a two sided joke? This is not going anywhere.

—Pompadour, give me the megaphone —He looks at me, as if doubting.

But he knows it as well as I do. It wouldn't be smart to keep provoking him. Maybe he just blew up smoke bombs, but there could be more. We can't let him escape either. With such a blatant attack by the most wanted villain of recent weeks, it would be ridiculous that with so many heroes present we would let him run away.

Finally, he gives it to me.

—Deku, I know what you're doing. You have come to get attention to a public place in the middle of the day, but you have not caused any damage. I understand you want to get something with this.

—You surprise me, Ground Zero.

—What do you want?

—Simple, I want to talk. I have a lot of things to say. Would you be willing to listen to me?

Have he caused all this just to be able to speak? It may be a trap, but I should not miss the opportunity to negotiate.

—Yes. If you stop this and surrender peacefully. —Deku pretends to think about it.

—Fine, I will —he responds—. But before, I have a question —he says with a playful tone, and I know in that same moment I'm not going to like it—. Do you think you can catch me?

Mirio tenses up immediately, hoping Deku wants to escape. But no, it is not that. Will he do what I think he will do? No, that bastard can't do it. Deku drops the mic from his hand, and takes a step forward. Shit, he will do it.

I react without thinking. I forget the megaphone and I run a few steps. Deku drops from the building. I push into the air with an explosion. Deku falls. I rise. Higher. Higher. We collide halfway and I hold him in my arms. We begin to fall again. The ground is approaching. Approaching. Approaching. Now! I make a small explosion a couple of meters from the ground, lessen the force of the fall. We hit the ground, we roll.

I make sure to be on top. Quickly I immobilize his legs and arms. The fucker has his eyes closed.

—What the fuck are you doing, motherfucker!? —He opens his innocent eyes—. You want to provoke me?! If I don't react on time you crack your neck! Do you understand that! —I shout at his face. But he just stares at me with his big eyes. He starts to smile—. And why do you have that smile you piece of…

Deku is not supposed to be able to move, but we are so close that he just has to stretch his neck. I feel the touch of warm skin at the corner of my mouth. I freeze.

A moment later, he moves away. I swear I feel wet where he touched. Deku looks at me. His smile widens. It's a kind smile.

—You don't know how long I wanted to do that —he says in a low voice. And I don't know how to react.

—Bakugo! We've got him!

I step aside when the heroes approach us. They make sure to tie him with shackles, someone pronounces the protocol words of arrest. But Deku just stares at me, with that smile intact. Only when they make him stand up, our eye contact is interrupted. I follow him with my eyes, not understanding what the fuck just happened. Mirio approaches me and pats me on the shoulder.

—Good job, Bakugo —he says, but I'm not sure if is good job to arrest someone who surrendered without resistance. They put Deku in a patrol with two escorts and take him away.

The corner of my mouth still tickles.

Wake up stupid! There's still work yo do. People has been evacuated already, but we still need to register the place to look for possible—

An explosion is heard. The expansive wave throws me to the ground. My ears buzz. But above the beeping I can hear how something collapses. At that moment I know for sure that this time the explosion has been real.

When everything ends, I stand again. Now the smoke that crashes into me is hot, and I percieve instantly the familiar smell of combustion. I cough a little, trying to see what had happened.

Only debris and some fire zones remain from the All Might store.

So he fulfilled his threat. Now I understand.

He made all this up because he wanted to be captured. He made us believe we had him, but truth is he's been in control of the whole situation all the time. Even now that he is not here. He played with our expectations and we behaved exactly how he wanted.

But also true to his word, no one was hurt.

* * *

Dyed pompadour comes out of the interrogation room with a bad face.

—He says he won't speak with anyone but you —he explains. So Deku is playing hard to get. I look at detective Tsukauchi waiting for authorization. He just nods. My turn.

I go into the room. Deku is sitting at a table. When he sees me come, he smiles. I sit in front of him. Now that I can look at him from up close, I notice that his cheeks are sunken, he looks pale. And I swear he has makeup on his eyes.

—Are you going to talk? —I ask.

—With you, yes. —Good.

—Why did you disappear five years ago? —I ask. The smile on his mouth turns cold.

—You're not wasting any time, are you? —he comments. I look at him harshly—. When I was a boy I wanted to be a hero, not like any hero, but one like All Might. I wanted to face any adversity and save people with a smile. I was willing to make the effort it took to get it. But they told me it was impossible without a quirk. Silly me —he says, with a smile on his lips but his eyes lost. He keeps silent for a moment—. I wanted to end everything, I didn't have the strength to keep going. But somebody found me.

—Who?

—The Villain League leader. I told him my story and he invited me to come with him. I decided that was better than throwing myself from a bridge. —I feel my throat closing. I swallow to recover. This is not the time.

—If your dream was to become a hero, why did you accept?

—We can't all fulfill our dreams, Ka… Ground Zero. I tried living in this world, but the world spit me out. And then it happened that I found a chance elsewhere. Just like that.

I swallow hard.

—Do you work for the Villain League?

—I would prefer to say I work with the Villain League.

—Are you a leader? —Deku laughs.

—Of course not.

—Who is the leader?

—Tomura Shigaraki —he answers. Shit—. Do you know who is he, right? —says Deku, looking at me intently with half a smile.

—Do you have a quirk?

—Would you treat me differently if I had one?

—Answer the question. —He sighs, but he doesn't look angry, just bored.

—No. I have no quirk, I never manifested one. And I never accepted to be given one. —If that's true, then he doesn't have All for one—. Honestly, I think quirks are overrated. People forget that we are not only a quirk. Or a lack thereof.

The idiot knows where it hurts.

—Why are you doing all this?

—Now that is a good question —he says, a new playful smile on his mouth. I glare at him and wait for his answer—. People are not born equal. There is people who has the chances and people who don't. System is not fair with everyone, it wasn't fair with me.

—So you're doing this for revenge?

—Revenge!? Do you think I'm doing this on a whim? —He laughs loudly. But suddenly he is serious again—. Actually, yes. Is a way to see it.

I clench my fists.

—Explain yourself.

—There are more unfit people like me out there, people who has been marginalized and forgotten, by the same society that heroes protect. And when you decide to do something about it, they call you a villain. —He shrugs—. But I won't tell you I'm a victim, I'm over it now. I simply wanted to laugh off at the system. Show them that a quirkless no one like me can put the world upside down if they want to. But don't get me wrong, I don't speak in the name of others, I just wanted to do this for myself.

—You don't think you're a villain?

—What is a villain? What is a hero? You divide the world between villains and heroes, but I'm not as bad as you think, and heroes are not what they should.

—And what they should be?

—The true hero saves others because of compassion, not for their own benefit. But the moment they expect a reward for protecting people, they stop being a hero. They transform into merch, into a miserable product.

—That's why you attacked the mall?

—Bingo! —he smiles with pride—. I confess that as a child I adored all the hero merch, but I understood that I was falling into the trap. I hope I have redeemed today.

—You're not worried about the damages?

—A little —he answers—. But you did realize it, right? I don't want to kill anyone, I just want to make the system collapse, a tiny little bit.

—Until when?

He laughs again.

—I don't want to destroy the world if you're thinking that. I'm not that ambitious.

—Then what you want to get? —His face changes. His eyes shine and his smile becomes sad. He lowers his eyes.

—It has been awhile since someone asked me what I want —he says. Suddenly he rise his eyes again—. You know? I want a quiet life, I want a home to come back to everyday and someone who's there —he says in a low voice, as if he is confessing his biggest secret. Maybe it is—. I miss those days when we were kids, when quirks didn't matter and everything was fine between us. In the end, all I wanted was… you.

What the fuck. What the fuck, Deku.

—Why me?

—Because I admire you, because you can do everything you set your mind to. You could become what you wanted with your own effort, while me, maybe I never really had the will to be a hero. —A kind of interference comes from the communicator in my ear. I think Tsukauchi wants to tell me something, but Deku hasn't finished talking—. That time that sludge guy attacked you, remember? —I just nod. He smiles saddly and looks at me in the eye—. I think that time I ran to save you only because it was you.

There's a strong noise. I stand immediately. Obviously I can see nothing through the glass, and my communicator doesn't work.

—They came for me —says Deku. I turn to look at him. He still has that smile, as if he's resigned.

—Who?

—The League. I did this behind Shigaraki's back. He will think I betrayed him.

And if they think he betrayed them, Deku is in danger.

A force pushes me violently. I am stamped against the wall of the room. I can't breathe. I see that Deku has been stamped on the opposite wall. I fight with all my strength but I can't move. Why the fuck I can't move?

The villain that magnetizes people. Men become negative poles. Equal poles repel. So it's true, the bastards are here.

My blood boils. I activate the explosions in my hands. I must get to Deku before them. We're so close, so fucking close. But the same force I do to move forward rejects me backwards. I feel the pressure in every part of my body. Just by looking at Deku's face of pain, I know he is receiving the same strength. His body is fragile, I can hurt him. But if I let them take him, this would have been for nothing.

A dark spot opens on the wall, just above where Deku is. Shit. Fuck. No. Sons of a bitch. I don't dare to use the explosions, but I try to move, any way possible.

—Deku! —I shout. He looks at me from the other side of the room, his face a mixture of determination and fear.

—Kacchan! —he yells, and he's doing an effort—. Do you believe me?

Believe him? Is that his concern?

The dark spot gets bigger. Hands appear from the hole. They reach Deku and take him by the shoulders. I kick the wall hard. I scream in rage. They can't take him. They can't take him. Now Deku looks at me desperately.

—You believe me! —he screams. They will take him. They will take him.

—Ibelieveyou!

For half a second I see his relieved face. Then the hole swallows him.


	5. Gray Territory

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 5: Gray territory

I park the motorcycle. I turn off the engine. I stay there, looking at the handlebar. My body doesn't respond to me. It is night. It's late as shit. I can't sit here. I look like a jerk.

I go up the elevator. I arrive at the apartment. I open the door, leave the keys. I turn on the light.

There it is, that shelf that I decided to put at the center of the room, with everything I ever won. Each trophy of each competition, medals of all sports festivals, the plaque that says I was the best of my generation, my U.A. diploma, the paper that says that I'm a professional hero framed in the center of everything.

All that is bullshit now.

Because I became a pro hero for the wrong reasons. Because I just wanted to be different than him, than the bastard that abandons his people, leaving behind a single mother and a bastard son, to become a villain. But all my life I was the worst villain to Deku.

I told him to kill himself.

And yet, Deku doesn't hate me. He should, but he doesn't. Instead, he says he misses me, that he admires me, that he is capable of risking his life to save my sorry ass.

And now my pro hero ass can't do shit. They took him away in front of my eyes and now I can't even go look for him because I'm still out of service.

I disgust myself.

The medals burn in my hands. I throw the diploma. The glass breaks against the floor. The trophies split when I hit them against the wall. Shelf to the floor. I would blow up the place, but there are people living next door.

I slam the door and go back into the street.

* * *

I've always known that Deku is afraid of Shigaraki. He has never told me why, but I can take a guess. The guy is out of his mind. Absolutely nuts. So I never questioned that Deku wanted to take matters into his hands. I trust Deku. That is why I've done everything he told me and helped him in everything I could. It doesn't mean that I like his plan. Especially the part where he is in danger. I trust him, but I don't understand him. Why risk life like that? Why trust a moron who mistreated him all his life? But Deku likes that Kacchan. Ugh It doesn't make a fucking sense. But although I don't understand him, I trust him. And he trusts Kacchan, so this guy can't be that bad, right? Right?

He should already be here. It's been several hours. And my ass is freezing. At some point he has to come home. Deku said to talk to him first, that after all that had to happen, the guy would be willing to help. Deku said it was better to talk to him, because the idiots of the police wouldn't understand, they wouldn't believe me. It's been several hours. They should have taken him already. He must be fine, he told me not to worry. But Shigaraki is scary and when he gets angry he does things to people that—

There! It's him, right? Yes, he is with the motorcycle and everything. What do I do? What do I do? Do I call him? No, he will blow up my head. Do I wait for him to go in and then knock at his door? If there's other people close, maybe he won't try to blow up my head.

The guy takes his time to react, but after a while he goes inside the building. I cross the street and follow him. I know the number of his apartment by heart. Fifth floor, door 503. There is no one in the hallway. I carefully approach the door, I will knock. But then I don't. Something is happening inside. I can hear bumps, broken glass and… explosions? Did the guy go crazy? He's going to blow up the place! It's not a good idea to stay here. I must move. I hide, watching door 503. Suddenly the guy leaves the apartment in a rage. He doesn't use the elevator, he goes down the stairs, then outside, but this time he doesn't take the motorcycle. He walks, and I have no choice but to follow him.

It's weird, he is not running like other times. Now he just walks, and it seems he doesn't even know where. What do I do? I have to get his attention. I have to give him the papers, the letter Deku left him. But this way I will only get killed. I'm a suspicious guy following a professional hero in the middle of the night with a pipe in his hands and… What the fuck? Where did this shithead—?

I knock my back against a wall. The tube falls to the ground.

—Who the fuck are you and what do you want? —he growls in my face. Well, here goes nothing. I throw a jet of water to his face. He is blinded for a moment, but he doesn't let go.

A moment passes. And he hits me again against the wall, but now I'm hanging in the air. I think he recognized me.

—Give me a good reason not to fuck you up.

—I'm not here to fight.

—You don't?

—Deku sends me —I say, and the guy seems to freeze for a second.

—How do I know is not a lie?

—The Leage took him away, right? He knew it was going to happen, so he sent me.

—What does he send you for?

—Deku gathered info. The map where the League is hiding, people's quirks, weak points, that stuff. Everything is in the tube.

I point at the tube with my eyes. The guy looks at it sideways, without taking his attention off me.

—What for?

—To ambush Shigaraki. —The guy stares at me and frowns even more. I think it's a good time for the letter. I look in my pocket—

—Don't try anything, you hear me?

—I'm not trying anything! But is important that you read this. —I take the envelope and push it at him. The guy don't trust—. It's a letter from Deku.

Finally he releases me and takes the letter. When he starts reading, his brow gets impossibly wrinkled. It seems that at any moment his head will explode.

—Show me the tube —he says suddenly. I give it to him and he checks it. Inside there are all kinds of rolled papers. They must be the maps and the quirk analysis he prepared for months. Deku is amazing—. You're Kota, right?

—Yes.

—How old are you?

—Fifteen.

—Come with me. —He turns around and starts to walk.

—To the police?

—Where else?

—But…

—With fifteen years old you're not going to prison. Besides, you don't have elsewhere to go. Come.

—Wait! You're rescuing him, right? —The guy stops and looks at me with a frown—. He said he would have an escape plan but I think he was lying. He doesn't deserve to end like this.

—Why do you care what happens to him?

—Because Deku is a good guy. He took me with him when I was lost and I promised him I would help him en everything he wanted to do. He is the only one I trust.

The guy looks at me for a second, as if testing me.

—I'll bring him back. That's for sure. —He keeps walking, and I can't do anything but follow him.

I never liked this guy, but I have the feeling he's on our side. Who knows what Deku wrote in that letter.

* * *

_Hello Kacchan. I you're reading this, it means that the league kidnapped me and Kota went to find you. I'm under constant vigilance and anything I say, the league will know. That's why I had to write this letter._

_We both know that Shigaraki is dangerous, but you don't know how much. When you know who he is and what he's done, you will understand. All for one's heir has a hatred for everything that exists, and it is a matter of time before he becomes stronger and gets out of control. We have to avoid it at all costs. This is the perfect time to ambush the league, they will never expect a frontal attack. With the information that Kota brought you, you will have all the advantage. All Might would have the opportunity to face Shigaraki, and win._

_You will wonder why I do this. Because I think it's the right thing. It is true that Shigaraki and I share some convictions. I also don't believe in the hero society and the supposed justice they impart. And I despise All Might with all my heart. But the truth is that even as a villain I am mediocre. I am not interested in destroying the world and I don't intend to cause__ suffering. With you I learned that pain only brings more pain. And even if you don't believe me, the one who is suffering the most is Shigaraki. For years they have manipulated him to be the monster he is now. Kacchan, this must work._

_Let me ask you one last favor. Be nice to Kota. He is a boy who escaped the minor service when he was a child, I picked him up when he had nowhere to go. His parents were heroes who died in action. Kota is a good boy, not a criminal. Please take care of him._

_There's so much I want to tell you, but there's no time. Every day I think of you, every day I miss you. I wish things had been different between us. But I want you to know that I don't resent you. Please take care._

_Yours, Deku._

* * *

The envelope just says "To Kacchan". Not Katsuki Bakugo, nor Ground Zero. To Kacchan. I always wanted to ignore how I continued to be Kacchan no matter what happened, no matter what I did to him. Five years ago I thought nobody would call me that again. But Deku has written to Kacchan asking for help. Asking him to finish his half finished plan, because he thinks it's the right thing, because with me he learned that pain brings more pain. What the fuck. Sometimes it seems that Deku knows me better than myself. And perhaps it's true, because from the beginning he bet I would respond to his call.

Deku thought of everything, everything had a reason to be. He mocked the hero society without a quirk, without using force, without dead people, only using strategy. He managed to say everything he wanted to say and he managed to be heard. He did all the work for the police and left us the road ready to give the final blow to the league. On the way, he left his protégé safe. Fucking genius.

He's right. Quirks are overrated. Deku is more than a lack of quirk, he's a formidable adversary. But no, he's not an adversary. Deku is not the enemy. I don't even think he's a villain. His methods may be illegal, but he has noble purposes. While I have my past stained with behavior not proper of a hero. I am not a hero, I must recognize it. Maybe we are not so different. We are in a gray territory, in the middle of both and without being any.

Maybe being a hero is not just saving lots of strangers, but being for that person when they need it the most, that person who may be the closest one. The hero is the one who can feel compassion even for the worst scoundrel. Like Deku. Maybe the hero has always been Deku and the villain has always been me. It's true, I was the worst villain for him, but now it's my turn to save him from his demons. Him, who can pity a murderous criminal and worry about the poor guy suffering instead of asking me to save his ass.

No, Deku didn't think about everything. He knew the danger he would be exposed to, but he never asked to be rescued, he only asked me to continue what he had begun. This letter is basically a goodbye. Goodbye my balls. Didn't he think of an escape route? How someone who thinks of everything doesn't have an escape route? Doesn't he care what might happen to him? Doesn't he mind dying? No. Fuck, no. This idiot is not going to do the same to me again. And if he does, I swear I'll drag his ass back.

But if I bring him back, nothing good awaits. If he's lucky, they may not be as tough on his sentence, but they will treat him like a criminal anyway. To Deku, who wants a quiet life and who misses that time when I didn't treat him like shit.

When I hear the door open, I put away the letter again. All Might and detective Tsukauchi appear.

—Young Bakugo, we came to an agreement.

—After much discussion, we have decided to accept your proposal —Tsukauchi declares bluntly. Fuck yeah!—. This under the conditions that the league is dismantled and Shigaraki stopped. Also under the condition that Izuku Midoriya effectively turns out to have no quirk after a genetic test.

—Good.

—Later we'll deal with the legal paperwork, now is the time to act.

And he is right. I give him the tube. Tsukauchi stares at it without understanding.

—Here is the rest of the intel. In paper. —The officer immediately tenses—. The detectors already checked on it. It's not a bomb.

Then he accepts the tube. He opens one end carefully and looks inside. When he convinces himself that it won't explode in his face, he disappears again behind the door. All Might is still there.

—You surprised me greatly when you came with your proposal —Shitty euphemism. I simply had more information than them and used it to blackmail them.

—I know it's not the fairest way, but it's what I have to do. —He doesn't say anything about it. He takes a sit—. Are you not going to tell me I'm being carried away by emotions?

—Is true this matter became personal for you. You are putting a lot of trust in young Midoriya.

—He trusted me way before.

—You should be careful, young Bakugo. I wouldn't want to believe that young Midoriya is lying, but it's a possibility.

Deku is not lying. Unless he'd have become the best fucking actor in the world, he is not lying. But All Might has no way of knowing.

—Even if he's lying, it's true that I hurt him a lot. I was so obsessed with my own goals that I didn't see that he was the first one I had to save. Whatever happens, he is my responsibility.

—There is truth in what young Midoriya says. I think his criticism to heroes is valid. We have lived for so long under a dichotomous logic, that we have forgotten that villains have also been victims. And that we heroes legitimize that system that has violated them. Maybe the time has come to change our conceptions.

»On the other hand, if young Midoriya has planned this so that we can defeat Shigaraki, it means that even he has realized how dangerous he is. Shigaraki's greatest whim is seeing me dead. Therefore, I believe that the way to end this conflict is to give him what he wants.

—What do you mean?

—Without me, Shigaraki loses his reason for being. Without Shigaraki, there is no reason for One for All. The truth is that nobody should have so much power, because it corrupts. If we eliminate these two dangerous quirks from existence, this war would end and a new era would begin.

—And the symbol of peace?

—That will be Lemillion. He doesn't need One for All to carry that name. And you, young Bakugo, I admire your determination in taking responsibility for young Midoriya and I'm glad you decided to fight for him.

»As for me, my time is over, but Shigaraki is the last person I must save. Just as you regret not having rescued young Midoriya from his loneliness, I was not present for Shigaraki when he needed it. Now we have the opportunity to amend it.

I keep quiet for a moment.

—Looks like you already made a decision.

—It was an honor to be your teacher, young Bakugo —he says, and gives me an envelope he takes from his pocket—. This is a letter for young Midoriya. Let him read it when it's all over.


	6. I could go in peace

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 6: I could go in peace

Everything hurts.

Hard.

Cold.

Everything hurts.

Where?

Spins around.

Where?

Heavy eyes.

Heavy body.

Body hurts.

Hurts.

Hurts.

Hur…

...Everything hurts.

My head throbs. Blood taste.

Where? Hard floor. It's cold. It's dark.

Head hurts. Hard to think.

Kota.

Kacchan.

Kacchan.

Kach…

...My whole body hurts. They did it. When they brought me.

Where am I? Dark place. Locked. Prisoner.

How long? I don't know. Can't know. Too dark.

Kota? He fine? He found Kacchan? Kacchan will believe? Kacchan will believe? Kacchan will…?

...Everything keeps hurting. I try to move. I think I have something broken. I think. Hands tied.

I try opening my eyes. Clouded. There's light. Artifisial light. This is the factory. It must be.

Everything spins. Is hard to think. Drugs? It must be.

What will they do? They won't steal a quirk. Wouldn't be good Nomu. Will they use me? Will they kill me?

Kacchan, I'm scared. Scared. Scare...

…He holds me. Feels good. He holds me. He is with me. I am with him. Feels good…

...He is not there. He never was. He never will. He forgets me. He goes away. He is not there. Never was…

He holds...

He forgets…

He holds…

He forgets…

Kacchan. Not Kacchan. Kacchan. Not Kacchan. Ka…

—It was you, right? You brought them here.

Who?

—They came for you, that was the plan from the beginning, right? Everything else was bullshit.

Who came?

—You made friends with them. You're that bastard's little whore.

Ah! Hurts. No more punched please. What are you going to do?

The world moves. The floor moves. No, I'm moving. He drags me. He is angry. He is so angry. What will he do to me? Where does he takes me? Help. He takes me. He takes me. He takes…

…I think he stops. I'm still in the floor. Where am I? Where is he? What is he going to do? I try to open my eyes and look. Is blurred. But we're at the factory. The great hall. Why are we here? What is he going to do?

—So All Might send you in his place?

—I didn't came to fight.

That voice.

Shigaraki laughs.

—Really? What are you doing here then?

—I came for him.

Me?

A hand grabs my hair. It rises my head. Hurts. Hurts.

—Look who is here —he mockes—, he says he came for you.

Who it is? It's blurred. Como on. Open your eyes. Is… It is…?

Kacchan.

—Tell me, Deku, what did you do to make the great Ground Zero come for you? What did you promise him? You don't have much to offer, maybe your body…

—Son of a bitch…

—Take another step and your Deku turns to dust. —He puts a hand on my neck.

—Deku didn't promise anything. I came because I trust him.

Kacchan? What are you doing?

—He lied to me and everyone on the League. Why do you think he won't lie to you?

—I know Deku more than you.

—Oh, right. Childhood friends, no? But clearly something went wrong, didn't it? You ended up as a hero and him as a villain.

—Deku is not a villain.

—Not a villain? He put bombs all over the city, you know that, right?

—Deku is not a villain.

Silence.

Then laugh. Mad laugh.

—Are you serious!? Do you realize, Deku? Sure you know it! THIS GUY CAME FOR YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!

Kacchan? Is that true?

—What are you going to do, hero!? Are you going to arrest him!? Will you put him in jail like the villain he is!?

—Deku is not a villain!

—DEKU IS TRASH LIKE ME! You decided he was defective and threw him away! What can you know, oh great hero, about what it means to be thrown away!?

No Kacchan Don't face him. He is playing with you. And he is angry. He will explode. Anytime.

—I don't know. But he does.

The hand on my neck goes away. A crash.

What is happening?

I'm picked up. Someone picks me up. I'm moving away. Someone moves me away. Kacchan? What is happening!? Why is All Might here? Why is he fighting Shigaraki? Where do we go? Kacchan. Kacchan!

—Hold on! We have to go out of here! The place will collaps!

Collaps? Why will it collaps?

The ground vibrates. Everything shakes. The walls, the roof.

Oh, right. The fignt. The place will collaps.

Kacchan doesn't stop. He keeps running. Do you know the way?

Of course he does. Kacchan knows the way. Because he believed in me. He believed in me and brought all might with him. Now the factory will fall.

You know Kacchan? I could go in peace. Because is working. Everything I worked so hard on. And you are here. With me.

You came back for me.

Is not a dream, right? You truly came back for me. I didn't ask you. But you are here with me.

Is it true, Kacchan? What Shigaraki said? That you came back because…?

Kacchan, I'm happy. Even if you're not sure. I am. I'm happy. I could go in peace. Save yourself. Please. This is enough.

—Deku, hold on! Stay awake!

Is fine, Kacchan. Everything falls apart. You run. You explode things and keep running. But this is enough.

—Fuck, stay awake!

Yes, Kacchan. Me too.

But is fine.

I can go in peace.

I can go in peace.

I can go in pea…


	7. I'll give you what you ask

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 7: I'll give you what you ask

I open my eyes, white roof. I look at the sides, I'm in a bed. There are people in white. People who is doing something to me. I'm scared.

—Ah!

They grab my arms. They've got me. They've got me! I'm scared!

—AH!

—Deku! Deku, look at me!

I don't want to look. I don't want to look! They grab my head, but I close my eyes.

—He's having a panic attack

—Izuku. Look at me, please.

Who? Who calls? I open my eyes a little. I know you. I know who you are.

—Ka… Kacchan?

My voice won't come out.

—Yes, I'm here.

It's you. It's really you. But who are these people in white?

—Give him space —says Kacchan, and those people leave. What a relief.

—Izuku, what is the last thing you remember?

What is the last thing I remember? Well, I… I…

The interrogation. The kidnapping. The blows. They made me swallow something and everything turns blurred. But suddenly Shigaraki appears. He's angry and takes me with him. We are in the factory. And something is happening, because he starts blaming me. And then… Kacchan is there, and All Might. And the place is crumbling, but I don't care because I'm happy.

But then, what happened with…?

—Kacchan, what happened? Tell me what happened!

—We ambushed the league.

—We?

—Along with All Might and the police.

—What happened with Kota?

—He's with them and he's fine.

—What happened with All Might?

Kacchan keeps silent. He looks gloomy.

—He died.

It can't be.

—And Shigaraki?

—He died with All Might at the fight they had.

—And the League?

—Dismantled.

Which means… Which means that…

—And you came back for me.

—Yes.

It can't be. It can't be! So it worked? Everything I planned for years, it worked. And Kota is fine. And Kacchan came back for me.

—And I'm alive.

—Yes —Kacchan nods.

I cry.

* * *

His face breaks down. Tears fall, he starts to sob. Uncontrollably.

He cries. He cries nonstop. Shit, what do I do? What do I do? Why do you cry? No, I know why you're crying. You were scared, right? You were defenseless and they had drugged you. You thought nothing would work, that I wouldn't go back for you. You thought you were going to die.

I take your face in my hands. I don't know well what I'm doing. I've never tried to console you before. I've never tried to be soft with you. But looking at you like this breaks me. I was scared too, you know? I was afraid I wouldn't get there in time. That they were going to do something irreversible to you. But here you are, and you're fine.

I try to dry your eyes, but it has no fucking case. You're in shock. Shit, I don't know what to do. No, that's not true. I do know what to do.

I get closer and I kiss your mouth.

You stop sobbing almost immediately. I rub my lips against yours, over and over again. Little by little you stop hiccuping. And I keep kissing you, so you can't keep on crying.

I draw away to let you breathe. I look at you and you slowly open your eyes. And I feel as if you had punched me in the stomach. Because you make that sad smile with that wet face, and those kind eyes look at me with more than kindness. Why do you look at me like that? Deku, why the fuck do you look at me like that? This time it's you who take my face in your hands and drag me to you. This time it's you who's kissing my mouth. Are you serious? Why this? Why me!?

I remember when I caught you at the mall, when you kissed me that time. You said you didn't know how long you wanted to do that. It's true. Now I can feel it. You're desperate. You're relieved. You're disarming in front of me. And watching you like this breaks me.

Shit, Deku. I can't fight against you. Because like you I'm disarming too. And you're stronger than me. When you pass your arms around me and pull me towards you, I can resist you. You have me on my knees, hanging over you. I have to support myself on my arms or I will crush you. But you don't care. You never stop kissing me. And I'm kissing you back, because I want you and I just realized it.

You are fucking wonderful, with your dry and warm lips receiving everything and demanding more.

I don't realize what you're doing until I feel your knee in between my legs and… Deku? What are you do…?

Ah…

Ah?

I'm aroused. And judging by the swelling I feel in my abdomen, I know you are too.

I leave your mouth to look at you. Now you have your eyes darkened, your cheeks red. You pant. And without saying a word, you're asking me for something.

Fuck. I know what you're asking me. You really want to do that with me? You really want me to do that to you? No, Deku. We shouldn't. You just woke up, you're recovering. Fuck, you have an IV in your arm. But you look at me and I can hear you begging. Kacchan, please. Fuck! You're being so unfair.

Because I don't want to deny it to you.

Let's see, I think I know the theory. And if I'm careful enough, I won't hurt you. I can do this. I can do this! Because I don't want to deny it to you. Because you want it. And so do I.

Alright! Alright, Deku. I'll give you what you ask.

I draw apart and pull the blankets that cover you. You're bare, your fragile body under the hospital robe, that barely covers the necessary. I strip off everything from the waist up, so we are the same.

I fall over you again, but I'm careful of not crushing you. You wrap me with your arms and I kiss you again. Slow and hard. I drag my lips against your chin and down your neck. You sigh, and that sigh is glory.

Your hands move through my body, until they reach my head. You bury your fingers in my hair and a chill runs down my spine. I like it. I like that you like it. So I devour your skin, while I listen to your sighs.

Without realizing it, your hand goes to my arm. You take my hand in yours. Suddenly I can feel your tongue on my fingers.

What the hell, Deku? What are you doing? Why...?

Oh, yeah. Good idea.

But, do you realize it? How erotic do you look like this? I bet you do. You know what you're doing.

When my fingers are wet, you guide my hand towards

When my fingers are wet, you guide my hand in between your legs. Until I feel you with my fingertips.

It is here, right? But it's so small. Are you sure? You push my hand.

Alright, here I go.

I caress, then I push. And so, I'm inside. It barely gives in at first, but I don't stop stroking. Little by little it begins to loosen. At the second finger you let out another sigh. Fuck. I still caress you, without taking my eyes off you. I want to know what you are feeling. I want to know if I'm doing well. You take me by the forearm, trying to guide me. I know that somewhere around here is a place that will make you feel good. Where it is? Deeper?

You pant. Is it here? I press that place and I see how you shudder. Fuck. You want me to put another finger?

You pant louder. You'll make me lose my head.

I keep pushing inside until you pull my arm. Are you ready? You nod. Fuck. I think I'm a little scared. How can I do this without hurting you? Oh, yeah.

Excuse me, I'll need that pillow. I leave carefully your head on the mattress, and with a hand I rise your waist. Then I put the pillow beneath you, like this you'll be more comfortable, like this I won't put too much pressure in your body. There, I'm a fucking genius.

You laugh in soft voice.

Don't laugh at me, Deku. Damn, I think I'm smiling.

I kiss you again, to make you stop. When I pull apart you look at me and nod again.

Without braking apart from your mouth, I prepare everything down there. When I'm aligned with you, everything becomes fucking real.

Deku, I'm having sex with you.

I push.

It's hard at first. It resists. You look in pain, but when I try to back away, you hug me with your legs. You kiss me as I keep pushing.

Fuck! Is so tight it almost hurts. Is incredible. I keep pushing, until I feel I can't go on. You let go of my mouth. We pant together.

Shit! It's embarrassing, but I think I won't last much,

I feel something wet on my face. Deku? Are you crying again? Does anything hurt? What's wrong? Why do you smile while you cry? Don't tell me you're happy.

You hug me with arms and legs. I surround you with my arms. Shit, you're too thin. If I hold you too tight you will break.

_ Kacchan. _

I go back a little and push. Fuck.

I go back a little and push… Fuck! What the hell is this? It's too much. It's too good. I'll lose my head. No, I can't lose my head. Careful!

Backwards and push.

Deku, are you alright? I take your head in my hands.

_ Kacchan._

Yes, I'm here.

Backwards and push.

Can you feel it? Tell me you fell as good as I do.

Backwards and push.

Slow.

Soft.

Backwards.

And push.

_ Ah._

Do you like it? Me too.

_ Ah!_

Shh. They can't hear us.

_ Mmh!_

Ngh!

Slow!

Soft!

Backwards!

And push!

You're fucking wonderful.

You're going to kill me.

I speed up. A little. Just a little.

_ Kacchan! _

Shit, Deku.

I want to make you come.

Come with me.

_ Kacchan, kiss._

Deku, come with me.

_ Mmh!_

Come on! Like this! You're almost there!

Hold me.

_ Mmmhh! _

Angh!

Shit…

Fuck…

Deku…

Are you alright?

You pant like crazy. You have tears in your lashes. You're flushed to your ears. You're precious. I hold you for a moment longer, waiting for you to come back to me.

Then you half open your eyes. You smile at me. And you close them again. Your body melts in my arms. You are going to fall asleep at any time.

I get off you. The IV is still intact, the serum is still running. All right. Shirt. Where the fuck did I leave the shirt? Here. I can't leave you like this. I clean you as best as I can. I put the pillow under your head again. I cover you with the blankets.

And you have fallen asleep.

* * *

I wake up with a jump.

Shit, I fell asleep. Is nighttime, and there's movement. Deku is awake. And about to get out of bed.

—Where are you going?

He stays still. It seems he didn't want to be discovered. So you want to go away, Deku? Just like that?

—I want to go see my mom.

Of course. He wants to see his mom. It is a warning, not a question. He will try to get there on his own no matter what I say.

—How are you feeling?

He bows his head.

—Tired but fine.

—They came to check on you. They said you're fine, you just need rest.

Deku nods.

—Kacchan, I'll go see my mom, even if you try stop me.

—I know. I'll take you there.

He looks at me in surprise. Then he looks away again and nods.

I let him wash up. I give him spare clothes. I tell the doctors to discharge him.

We go through the back door, where I have parked the motorcycle. I give him a helmet. He climbs up behind me, and we leave.

Luckily it is night. There is nobody at this time on the streets, so we will go unnoticed.

We arrived at the complex where Deku lived, back to these familiar streets. There is no police guarding anymore.

When we reach the indicated door, Deku seems to hesitate.

—I hurt her so much —he murmurs—. Maybe she doesn't want to see me.

—Is your mother. She will always want to see you.

He finally knock on the door. It's the middle of the night, the woman must be sleeping. But Deku doesn't have to knock a second time. The door opens slightly, Inko peeks out.

The moment he recognizes Deku, he pushes open the door and pulls him by the arm. Without saying anything he drags him inside. I close the door behind me. Inko knows as well as I do that Deku cannot be seen.

—Mom?

The woman brings him to her chest and falls to her knees. She cries uncontrollably.

—Mom? —Deku is about to cry too. But Inko only holds him tighter.

—Welcome home —says the woman in between sobs. In that moment, Deku bursts into tears.

Such a mother, such a son.

I prefer to leave the apartment, give them space.

I go to the balcony. I look at the starry sky and breathe the cold air.

Shit, what the fuck am I doing now? I had everything figured out, everything I had to do. Now I have no idea about anything. The order of things was altered.

I take the cell phone out of my pocket. I don't normally do this. But this time I need it.

I dial the number.

—Bakugo?

—Hello hag.

—Son, how is everything?

—He woke up and he's fine. We came to see aunt Inko.

—Nobody saw you, right?

—No, we were careful.

—You told him already?

—Not yet. We haven't been able to talk much.

—You have to tell him soon.

—Yes, I know.

—And about the other thing? Did you decide?

—Yes, I think I did.

—You should tell him too.

—Fuck off —I growl. But is not what I wanted to say—. Hey, hag.

—Yeah?

—I love you.

Silence.

—I love you more, you brat. Remember I will always support you.

—Alright hag, go back to sleep.

—Don't tell me what to do, you piece of…

I finish the call, picturing the hag's face when she discovers I hung up first.

But she's right, I must speak to Deku as soon as possible, I must tell him everything. I know Inko is going to wait for me to do it, it's only fair. But how the fuck am I telling him? A couple of hours ago we had sex and then we seemed like complete strangers.

But I don't feel any regret. I know he wanted me and I know I wanted him too. It couldn't have been wrong, we didn't make any mistakes. Shit, I can't play dumb. I know what this is. And I've known for a while. I wonder if All Might had noticed, if aunt Inko has noticed.

Is what it is.

I go back to the department. Deku and his mother are nowhere to be seen. I look for them, to make sure they are fine.

I find them in a room, lying on a bed, each in the other's arms, asleep.

—Kacchan —he whispers. So he is awake—. Stay —he says. He hasn't said please, but I can see in his eyes he is begging. I nod without saying anything and I go away from the room, hoping my heartbeat is not as loud as I can hear it.

What I do? What the fuck do I do? How do I tell him?

There. Next to the phone is a notebook with a pencil. I grab them and almost without thinking, I start writing.


	8. I go with you

Note: Hi. There are supposed to be over-lined parts in this chapter, but frigging editor didn't allowed it for some reason. So, those parts will be underlined instead. Sorry.

* * *

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 8: I go with you

I wake up when I feel someone close. Is Deku, putting a blanket over me. Oh, yes. I fell asleep on the sofa. And now the dawn is braking.

—Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you —he murmurs.

—Don't worry.

I move my stiff body, Deku sits at my side. No one says a word, is an uncomfortable silence. There are a lot of things we have to tell each other, but it seems neither of us know how to start.

I have the letter I wrote last night in my pocket, this would be the perfect moment to—

—Kacchan, I'm ready.

—For what?

—For you to give me to the police —he says. I stay mute—. It's what comes next, right? You don't have to feel guilty, I know is inevitable. I thank you for giving me the chance to see my mom, but they surely want my head, after everything I've done.

—Deku…

—I always knew that what I did had a price, but this was the only way out. And now that the plan worked, I have no complains. My plan didn't consider an escape, you know? So now I just have left to accept the consequences of…

I rummage in my pocket. Then I take his hand and leave the letter there.

—What's this?

—Read it. I explain later.

He seems confused, but starts reading. His eyes move restless over the paper.

Then, he leaves them aside. His face is blank.

Then, tears start to fall

Really, you cry too much.

—Kacchan…

Over an impulse, I take his face in my hands, to try take away the tears.

—You don't have to give yourself to the police.

—But Kacchan…

—I made a deal with them. —He looks at me with wet eyes.

—You did what?

—They needed the intel you gave me, so I just gave them a part. I would only give them the other if they promised to let you go when everything was over.

—Kacchan…

—They made conditions. Shigaraki had to be stopped and the league had to fall. They also asked to confirm that you really had no quirk. And well, all of that happened.

—When?

—They did the exam before you woke up. With that they were convinced you weren't dangerous.

—I can't be.

—But this has a price. They let you go, but in exchange they announced you dead after the ambush. So you will have to start again in another place with a new identity.

Deku keeps looking at me, he doesn't say anything.

—You mean…? But mom…?

—Aunt Inko knows already.

—No. Kacchan, no. It cannot be true. —His voice tremble.

—I'm not lying.

—You don't understand! THIS THINGS NEVER HAPPEN TO ME!

Ah. So that's it. That's why you were so cold. You're still scared. Because you've always expected the worst.

—Deku, is true.

—But..

—And there's something more. —He looks at me again, his chin trembling and eyes unsure—. I go with you.

* * *

Good. Bakugo told him at last. Poor Izuku, it must have been too much for him

He should have gone through so much.

But now he is at home, with people who love him. With a future ahead. My Izuku, that despite everything is still the same. No, not quite the same. He grew up so much. I left him as a child and he came back as an adult.

There they are, hugged together on the sofa. It seems they fell asleep again. Poor boys, they must be so tired after everything that happened.

—Bakugo. —He wakes up with a little jump—. You can take Izuku to his room.

—But…

—It's alright. I took off all the old things.

He nods. Then he gathers Izuku in his arms and takes him to the room. He leaves him carefully in the bed.

—You too.

—But…

—Como on, you should be very tired. Besides, Izuku wants you close by.

He nods, his cheeks flushed. He lays besides Izuku and I cover them with the blankets.

—Thank you.

—You're welcome.

These boys. The years go by but here they are, holding onto each other just like before.

I go back to tidy up the sofa, and I find there wrinkled papers. When I start reading what the have written, I understand what it is about. I save the paper so Izuku can take them later.

It seems now I have two kids.

* * *

_Deku, you are crushing __everything I was__ me. You came to destroy me, to accuse me of your wounds and show me your explosions were better than mine. You did it well and you enjoyed it. __But you have a fault__ But you are stupid. Because before I realized anything, you already wanted to give me everything. What the fuck Deku? Do you realize you put me in a big trouble? How can you trust yourself to a bastard like me? But it shouldn't surprise me. Because I know you, you have always been a stupid._

_Because you have always wanted to give everything. Because you are a fucking hero, and you understood what meant to be one way before I did. I couldn't understand you wanted to give everything. What would be left for you? __What would be left for me?__ Who would take care of you? It was you who had to be protected. And it had to be me the one to protect you, because I had to be the hero. Because being a hero was the opposite to be a villain. I think that's why I started hating you, because your plans interfered with mine and I was a fucking, absolutely shitty brat. But that doesn't justify me. Nothing justifies me._

_I still don't understand what you see in me, but it doesn't matter that I understand it, because those insane feelings of yours __because you have to be crazy__ pushes you to me when you know the shit I am. __Do you really want this?__ But it doesn't bother you, because you know me better than myself and it seems you can see behind shit. I still don't understand what pushed me to you either, but I can assure you is not pity. Nor duty. Nor guilt. Is different. I think is called regret. I regret for not being a better person for you. __Because you are important to me__ Because you are the most important person to me. You know what I am trying to say, right? I'm sure you understand. I am an idiot. __Even Shigaraki realized it before me__._

_That's why, let me try again. Let me give you that life you want._

_Kacchan._

_PS: I don't regret what we did. I know we both wanted it, so I don't think it was wrong._

* * *

It's warm in here. It feels good. And it smells delicious. Food…

I open my eyes. At first I don't understand much what I see. I don't understand where I am. But when I watch a little more, I realize I'm on Kacchan's arms, with my head leaning against his chest.

We're in a bed, in a room with white walls. I know this place, but it wasn't like this.

Ah. Is my room. And mom had the delicacy of taking away all I had in here. Thank you mom.

Through the window enters a radiant sun. How long we were asleep?

—Good morning —says Kacchan by my side. So he is awake.

—Good morning.

Kacchan disentangle from me and sits on the bed.

—Smells good.

—Mom must be cooking.

Kacchan gets up and leaves the room.

I stay in bed a little longer, looking a stain on the wall.

My head is turning around, my chest is beating fast. But it's too much for me, so I try not to think, not to feel, a least for a while longer.

I'm hungry.

—Izuku, food is ready —calls mom.

I get up. I go stumbling to the kitchen. Mom and Kacchan are already at the table. I sit in front a full plate.

After five years of pre-made rations, today there's homemade food.

I eat. I eat until I'm absolutely full. Such a pity that I'm only capable of eating half the plate. It's delicious.

—Izuku, is there something with the food? —mom asks. I notice everyone else has eaten the whole plate already.

—No, mom, is delicious.

—You should eat more then, you're too thin —says Kacchan.

—I can't eat any more. I got used to eating little and now this is too much for me. Sorry.

There's a heavy silence. I think I said too much. Mom tries to recompose herself and changes the topic.

—How long are you going to stay —she asks. I look at Kacchan and he looks at me. Non of us knows what to say—. I understand, you have a lot to talk about. Stay all the time you need —she says with a tired smile. He gets up and kisses my cheek. Then, he kisses Kacchan's cheek too.

His shocked face is fun to watch.

After eating, I go to wash the dished. Without a word, Kacchan follows me.

This is hilarious. Here we are, washing the dished in the most mundane situation that exist.

When there are no more plates to wash, dry or store, we stay in silence.

—I never thought I would eat my mother's food again.

I never thought I would come back home.

I never thought my mother would speak to me again.

I never thought I would sleep in my bed again.

I never thought I would fall asleep in Kacchan's arms again.

I never thought there would be something left for me after everything ended.

Is too much.

—Deku, why are you crying?

Am I crying? Oh, yes. I try cleaning my face, but the tears still fall.

I fell Kacchan's hands in my waist. He envelopes me slowly, and brings me to his chest. He strokes my back gently. It's a little bit strange, is new.

—This is too much for me —I say to him—. Are you really going to give me the life I want?

—I want to, you?

—Is not that I don't want to. Is just that I didn't think it was possible. Perhaps…

—Perhaps?

—Perhaps if I was lucky, my plan would work. And then… nothing. Maybe dying.

—Fuck, Deku. —He holds me tighter—. Why the plan was so important?

—Because I wanted to get something with my life, I wanted to be worth of something. And then, it didn't matter.

I listen a hiccup.

—Kacchan? —I look for his eyes, but he looks the other way—. Kacchan, don't cry.

—Let's go back to bed, alright? —he says with a rough voice.

I take his hand and we go back to my room. We lie on the mattress. We take cover under the blankets. And I timidly go back to his arms. He holds me tight.

And we're back to the silence. But my mind is not silent at all.

—Kacchan?

—Mmm?

—I have questions.

—Me too.

—Let's take turns.

—Alright.

—Do you want to start?

Kacchan takes his time. But at the end he speaks.

—How you got that scar?

—What scar?

—You know what scar.

Well, it was impossible that Kacchan wouldn't notice that enormous thing in my arm. I was hoping he wouldn't ask, but I have to tell him. I don't want him to feel bad over it, but I don't want to lie to him either. At this stage, it wouldn't be fair.

—Let's say that… Shigaraki saved me from falling from a bridge.

—What were you doing falling from a bridge?

I keep quiet.

—Fucking shit.

Oh, he remembered.

—It was long ago —I say.

—Five years.

—It was my decision.

—Because I pushed you.

—But I didn't, alright?

—I'm fucking sorry.

—I know.

There's another silent. A long one.

—Was then when he recruited you?

—Yes.

—How was it to be with them?

—At first I was the errand boy. But little by little I showed my strategies worked. I started to climb up. Can you imagine? Me climbing up in a villain organization. —Kacchan doesn't say anything, but I find it very funny—. At the end I convinced Shigaraki I could set a trap to All Might.

—And you tricked the league leader.

—Something like that.

Kacchan huffs with a little smirk.

—What did you feel when I disappeared? —I blurt. I almost don't dare to make that question, but it has bothered me since then, and I guess this is the moment to make uncomfortable questions.

Kaccahn is stiff by side. But he answers nonetheless.

—I didn't believe it until I saw your grave —he answers with low voice. Oh, so I have a grave.

—And then?

—When you appeared, I got crazy. I spoke with your mother, I spoke with All Might, and then I decided to testify with the police.

—What did you told them?

—Everything. So they took me off duty, with a penalty for inappropriate behavior.

Oh, Kacchan.

—I'm sorry.

—Why the fuck are you apologizing? The one apologizing should be me. I did everything wrong from the beginning, and I want to amend it.

—You're doing it already.

He hugs me a little tighter.

—I should thank you —he says.

—Why?

—Because you made me realize I was wrong in many things, and I think that was good.

I hug him a little tighter.

Then, Kacchan makes his next question.

—Why…? Why did you decide…?

—Why did I decide to be a villain?

He sighs, but nods.

—I figured if I couldn't be a hero, then I no longer had the duty to be one. It may sound strange, but somehow it was a relief, because then I could choose to be something else. —He remains silent, so I continue—. Deep down, I still wanted to save people with a smile. Or maybe I just wanted to save myself, but… But since I had no quirk, I focused on what I could do. And I discovered that I could do a lot, even without a quirk.

Kacchan keeps silent.

—I don't want to upset you —I say.

—I'm not upset with you.

—I don't want you to be upset with yourself.

He sighs heavily.

—Your turn —he says.

Alrigt, here I go.

—Are you alright with… what happened to All Might?

—I'll get over it.

—He was your teacher, right? —He nods—. Did he say something about me?

—He told me that you to met.

—Oh yeah? Did he regret?

—He felt responsible. He was also thankful of what you did.

—I didn't do it for him.

—I know. He knew too. He left you a letter.

—All Might left me a letter?

—He asked me to give it to you when everything was over. Do you want to read it?

—Not now.

—You still hate him.

—I don't hate him. Well, a little.

—Why don't you hate me?

—I don't think I should. I've been angry with you many times, but I've never hated you.

—I don't understand.

—It's true you have made mistakes…

—Many mistakes.

—But I know you're not a bad person, Kacchan, because others made mistakes with you. Your anger was pain, and your pain was… someone missing. —Kacchan stiffens—. Did I said something wrong?

—How did you know?

Oh, that.

—Rumors, conversations I heard from mom. And then it wasn't hard to track the info. That guy has his reputation. —Kacchan keeps quiet—. I didn't want to meddle. I just wanted to confirm my suspicions and understand you better. Forgive me.

—I told you. You don't need to apologize.

—All right.

—Did you ever run into him? —he asks quietly.

—He was in the league for a while before he was captured. I met him, but I never spoke to him. And after knowing he was behind what happened to Kota's parents, I wanted nothing to do with him.

—That bastard…

Oh, yeah! What will happen with…?

—I'll quit to my license —he declares.

—What!? No! Why do you want to…? Don't tell me is because of that guy… I mean, I don't think that…

—You don't think I should?

—Of course not.

—Deku, I'm not what a hero should be. And you know it.

—Then fix it and turn into the hero you should be, but don't quit to a life's effort. I know you can do it better.

He stares at me.

—I really can't win against you.

My cheeks heat up. I must be blushing.

—Kacchan? Are you alright with me?

—What do you mean?

—Do you want to be with me this way? I mean…

—Are you asking about my sexuality?

It sounds terrible when you say it like that. But…

—Yes.

—I was never interested in that. If it bothered me I would fix it on my own and that's it.

I stare at him.

—Are you telling me you have never been with anyone?

—It is so hard to believe? —he asks, rising a brow—. I had other priorities.

—Don't tell me, be the number one hero?

—Don't fuck with me. —Kacchan smacks me with a finger, so I know he is not really angry—. And you? —I knew he was going to ask—. You already asked about my sexual like, now tell me about yours. If I can know.

Come on, be brave.

—I never had anything like that, I also had other priorities. Besides, I never wanted other person aside from you. —Shit, I said it—. But… I explored, by myself.

—So we were both fucking virgins.

When you realize what you just said, your cheeks turn red. You avert your ayes and I hide in your neck.

Ah, I'm happy.

—Kacchan? What are we now?

—You mean both of us? —I nod—. I guess we can be what we want to be.

—But if you… and me too, then it means we can be…

—Yes.

—Alright.

Calm down my heart.

—What are we going to do now? —I ask then.

—What do you want to do?

It still fells weird to have the power to decide. But if I had to decide, then…

—I want to start again. And stay with you.

—Good.

—But, you really want to do this? I mean, you wound have to quit to your life here, and you wouldn't see your parents and your work…

—I know, I knew it from the beginning. But I will think about something.

—And you're fine with that?

—My reputation is tainted anyway. But if I could make my debut again somewhere else... That if I'm still a hero.

—Of course you will!

—Then we're going to make it work, somehow.

It is not the most elaborate thing I've heard but in truth, I love the plan.

—Hey, I have another question.

—Yeah?

—What will happen with Kota?


	9. We're going to be fine

Note: If you allow me to be corny, a song that inspired this chapter was _Anywhere_ by Evanescence.

* * *

**Gray Territory**

Chapter 9: We're going to be fine

—Hello?

—Hello Kota.

—Deku! Is it you? Are you alright?

—Yes Kota, I'm fine.

—Do you know what happened with the league?

—Yes, I was told.

—It was amazing! Your plan worked!

—And you helped me to make it work.

—It was nothing.

—Have they been treating you well?

—Yeah, Ground Zero told them to treat me well.

—Ground Zero? Since when you get along so well?

—Well, he took care of everything. And it was he who saved you, right?

—Yes, he saved me.

—Cool. But what will happen with you?

—Well, now that I'm officially dead, I'm going abroad to start another life.

—You're going away?

—Yes, is better for everyone. I would've wished to tell you in person, but don't worry, I won't leave you alone.

—Forget that, I can take care on my own. But will you be fine?

—Of course, Kacchan will take care of me.

—Cool.

—But I wasn't calling for that.

—Oh, yeah. Ground Zero spoke with me.

—What did he told you?

—That if I got a tutor, I wouldn't have that much trouble with the police. But I have no one to…

—There's someone.

—What?

—There's someone who wants to be your tutor.

—Who?

—Do you want to talk to her? She's with me.

—Hello Kota, is nice to talk with you.

—Who are you? Wait… Are you… Are you Deku's mom?

—That's right. Izuku told me a lot about you.

—Is it true that you want to be my tutor?

—Yes.

—But I'm not a good boy, I have done things… people don't like me, and I don't like people.

—People didn't like my Izuku either, but it doesn't matter. I love him just like he is.

—But I'm not Deku.

—But you're important to him, and you will be important to me too.

—Can I speak with Ground Zero?

—Of course.

—What do you want, brat?

—You did this?

—Yeah. You need a house and aunt Inko agreed.

—But…

—But what?

—But what if…

—Listen, brat. Aunt Inko is the kindest woman I know and she is willing to accept you in her home, after all you're like a little brother. Besides, my parents also want to help, so aunt Inko won't be alone.

—I don't want to be a bother.

—Then put some effort and be a good boy.

—How long will I be with her?

—Until you're officially an adult. Then you can chose.

—I have a condition.

—Hey, who you think you…?

—You'll take care of Deku, right? I'm only accepting if you do.

—Yeah, I'll take care of Deku. And not because you tell me, brat.

—Do you promise?

—I promise.

—Then alright. And thanks. For saving him.

—You're welcome.

* * *

_Young Midoriya:_

_I know that maybe you don't want to know anything about me and I don't blame you, but after everything that's happened, it's important that you know some things. I'm sorry I can't tell you in person, but circumstances prevent it._

_I want to apologize to you. I am guilty of destroying the dream of your whole life. I don't regret having dissuaded you, because if not a crude fate awaited you, one that I didn't wished for you. I do regret the pain I caused you. If I had been able to speak to you responsibly, to encourage you instead of condemning you, perhaps things would have been very different. But I failed you. I was the useless one, the failed one, not you. I wasn't to you the hero I had to be, and there isn't a day that it doesn't weigh on me._

_But what's done is done. We are now planning the attack on the League with the information you gave us. I must thank you, you did a very good job. Well done. I hope this serves to bring you back and give you a second chance, as young Bakugo wants. I hope you find that opportunity. I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me, not for me, but for yourself, so that you can leave me behind and continue with your life. I wish you happines._

_Farewell. Yagi Toshinori._

* * *

—Are you alright? —you ask.

—Yes, I'm fine —I answer, putting away All Might's letter in my pocket, along with yours. I dry my eyes.

—Are you ready?

And my eyes turn wet again. I say no with my head. I still have to say goodbye to mom.

Mom has been busy all afternoon preparing a bag for the trip with the "essentials". But actually, I know that she is sad. I would like to stay longer with her, but I must leave as soon as possible. It's already dark. We already ate our last meal together. There is no reason to delay it any longer.

Mom is a sea of tears. Well, me too. We embrace each other, I ask her to take care of herself, I thank her for taking care of Kota. We promise each other that we will keep in touch, that she will always be my mother and that I will always be her son.

When we leave, you pass me a helmet, I get on the bike behind you, and I cling to you with all my strength. You give me a squeeze on my hands.

—Hey, we're going to be fine —you say.

And I believe you. Because you promised. You promised me we would make it work. There are a lot of things we have to solve, right Kacchan? We have to learn to love each other again, we have to find our place in the world again. But I have you and you have me, so we won't be alone.

—Yes, Kacchan. We're going to be fine.

We leave in the middle of the night, heading to the airport.

END.

* * *

Note: Any kind of constructive feedback will be forever thanked. Greetings.


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